Of course my "twonager" decided to sleep in today, when she has school.
Let me start by saying, I am not your typical "STAY AT HOME MOM." I quit my corporate job with the intentions of going back to work someday and getting her back in daycare full time. It was a struggle for us to even keep her there 2 days a week with one income but I insisted when I left my job that we make it work and my husband didn't disagree, it is good for her, especially since she had been going full time for about 5 months before I decided to leave my job. I did not want to pull her out of there completely.
I have worked hard in my online health & fitness coaching business and I was able to grow enough in the past year that I decided to to get her on the wait list for a 3rd day of school. I was told it would be around summer when something opened up...(phew, I was sort of relieved). That gave me time to process the fact that I was "giving up" one more day with her during the week. But apparently that spot opened up way sooner, like 2 weeks after I put her on the list so here we are today, starting our new schedule and my emotions have been all over the place!
I LOVE being able to be home with her and having more freedom with my business but I also love working and having that time to myself to get stuff done. That is the beauty of this business I am running, if I want to take her into school late one morning because she needs extra snuggles, I can do that. If I want to pick her up early and take her somewhere special, I can do that. I have the flexibility to do what I want with my kids and that is amazing but I also feel that the school setting is super important for them. And even if I am home and have the option to have her here with me, I still feel it is best for both of us that she is at school 3 days a week at her age.
Now, you may disagree with me and that is fine, I don't expect everyone to understand my logic but that is why this is my blog, so I can voice my opinion. Hell, some moms leave corporate jobs and start home business so they CAN be home with their kids and that is great, but I would be lying if I didn't say I am working really hard to ensure she has proper schooling before Kindergarten and that I can get her brother back in some type of Summer Camp. My kids are such creatures of habit and need structure, especially the older one, so school and camps are great for him.
Everyone is different and I know for fact that I am a better mom when my kids get their time and I get mine.
Mason was in school full time starting at 3 months of age up until K and I loved seeing how much he thrived in that environment, the schedule, the learning, the socialization, all the stuff I know I can't provide as well as their school can. I am not your Pinterest project mom. I mean, don't get me wrong, I pin A LOT of shit, I just don't ever take the time to do it. LOL. I am not crafty, I decided not to be a teacher, because, well....I am not good at teaching. So when it comes to my kids, I like to let the experts handle it.
I digress. So last week when they told me she would be able to start 3 days this week, I had so many thoughts running through my mind, Should I take her 3 days? Should I tell them never mind and keep her home? Will she be sad if she is with me one less day a week? Hell, will I be sad? But she must have known how her mama was feeling because she immediately put my mind at ease yesterday morning when we told her it was a school day, she was so excited to get her coat on and leave that she was pretty much angry until we walked out the door (30 minutes later)....she didn't realize that while, yes, it was a school day we still had to wait for Mason to eat and then get him on the bus before leaving. And even though when I drop her off, she is quiet and shy, (unlike her brother was at this age) she doesn't cry, she walks over to her friends and joins in whatever activity they are doing. She doesn't even blink when I say "I love you, bye" and walk out the door.
So while some may find it selfish of me to put her in school when I am home and have the ability to have her here with me, I personally feel the opposite. I feel like it would be selfish of me to deprive her of the same experience her brother had growing up. I feel like she deserves to play with her friends, have gym class, music class and learn Spanish (yes, her school is awesome).
Even though it was really hard for me to bite the bullet and do it, I know we made the best decision for her. I know she is in good hands and loves being there.
BUT, I also realized this weekend that there is a second piece that I was worried about but afraid to admit...my business. By me making the commitment to send her to school 3 days a week, I am committing to continue to grow in my online business. If I were to move backwards, slack or not spend my days wisely, it would definitely be hard to pay the bill to keep her there 3 days a week. And I am not going to lie, that scared the shit out of me! I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE what I do, I have no doubt in my mind that I am only going up from here but making this decision makes it REAL. It becomes so much more real when things you envisioned for your family and your business start to come to life. And it leaves me anxious to see where the rest of 2016 is going to take us! I know it will be hard, building a business is not easy, there are sacrifices to be made, but I know the end result will be worth it. <3
Believe you can & you will.