Don’t Believe Everything the Internet Tells You

There’s a message floating around online right now that sounds empowering on the surface but quietly messes with friendships, especially for women running businesses online.

It goes something like this:

“If your close friends don’t like, comment on, or share your content, they’re not real friends.”

And a lot of women are absorbing that message without ever stopping to question it.

So let’s pause for a second and actually look at what’s happening here.

This Is an Unspoken Rulebook (No One Agreed To)

That message creates an invisible rule: “My close friends should show up for me on social media.”

But here’s the problem-that rule was never discussed. Never agreed to. Never signed off on…

It’s just assumed. And when reality doesn’t match that rule, when your friend doesn’t like your post, comment on your reel, or share your launch, your brain fills in the meaning:

“They don’t support me.”
“They’re not a good friend.”
“If they really cared, they would show up.”

Not because of what they did or didn’t do. But because of what you made it mean.

That’s where resentment sneaks in, distance gets created and friendships quietly start to feel strained.

Friendship Wasn’t Meant to Be Transactional

When we tie friendship to online engagement, things get weird fast.

It turns into:

• You comment on my post = loyal friend

• You skip my content = bad friend

Friendship is deeper than likes, comments, or shares.

Your closest friends can:

• Love you deeply

• Believe in you

• Be proud of you

• Cheer you on in real life

• Ask about your work

• Support you privately

…and still not engage with your content online.

That doesn’t make them unsupportive. It makes them human.

Your Friends Don’t Owe You Their Time Online

You cannot manage other people’s actions. You CAN manage your thoughts about their actions.

Your bestie isn’t scrolling socials at night thinking: “Must share all my friends’ posts!!”

She’s thinking about her kid’s dance recital, or grocery lists, or absolutely nothing because she’s exhausted and numbing out. People get online for their stress relief, their interests, their fun. Not to market your business.

And they shouldn't have to.

Social Media Is Really Good at Handing Us Stories

This is the part I want you to sit with: Social media is excellent at giving us expectations we didn’t realize we were carrying.

It hands us stories like:

• Support should look like this.

• Friendship should show up this way.

• If they cared, they would…

And unless you pause and question those stories, you’ll carry them straight into your relationships.

Ask yourself*:

• Is this something I want to believe?

• Is this a rule I actually chose?

• Is carrying this story helping me feel more connected—or more resentful?

Just like movement isn’t only valuable if it changes your body, friendship isn’t only valuable if it boosts your business. They don’t need to be tangled together to be important in your life. Separate the two.

You can feel supported without tracking engagement.
You can let support look different without making it mean something is wrong.

Your mind will feel lighter.
Your relationships will feel cleaner.
And you’ll stop letting the internet quietly rewrite the rules of your life.

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*You might ask yourself these questions and decide you do want to believe this. You might decide it is a rule you want to live by and that’s okay.

I’m not here to tell you which side is right or wrong.
I’m here to show you how silently carrying a belief without questioning it or choosing it intentionally can start shaping your thoughts, your relationships, and your experience without you realizing it.

The Rulebook You Didn’t Know You Wrote (And Why It’s Making Life Harder)

If you’ve ever had a moment where you thought, “This should NOT be happening,” hi, welcome, pull up a seat.

I recently had one of those moments thanks to a broken Peloton treadmill upon delivery.

Let me explain.

I was all ready. We cleaned the gym, we moved everything around, we made space. We were ready.
My treadmill on the other hand, was not.

The delivery guys got it down the steps and opened the box only to find it broken in two places. I don’t think putting it back on the dolly and getting it up the staircase was on their bingo card but it showing up broken and not being able to get another one until the New Year - definitely not on my bingo card.

My brain went straight into a very dramatic, “Nope. Absolutely not. This should NOT be happening.”

But underneath that was a full rulebook (or a manual) for how Peloton should handle it.

In my head, they should:

• expedite the replacement

• fix it immediately

• make the entire process quick and painless

One minor problem: that’s not their actual process.

And the more I argued with reality, the more pissed and frustrated I got.
Not because of the situation itself but because of the rulebook I wrote that Peloton has never even seen.

Here’s the thing:
Feeling disappointed when something arrives broken is completely normal.
You’re human. You get to feel that.

But what I did next (and what we ALL do) is where the unnecessary suffering kicked in.

I didn’t just feel disappointed.
I stacked:

• frustration

• anger

• resentment

• stress

…all on top of an already disappointing situation.

Why? Because I was clinging to a standard that didn’t actually exist.

When I finally let myself feel the actual disappointment, without the story, without the mental rulebook, the intensity started to settle.
Because disappointment is real but arguing with reality is what amplifies it.

And this is where things get interesting.

We don’t just do this with companies.
We do it constantly with people, especially the ones we love.

We all have manuals (invisible rulebooks) for how people should behave.

How partners should show up.
How family should act.
How friends should respond.
How coworkers should communicate.

And when they don’t follow the rulebook they never agreed to, it doesn’t just annoy us, we’re annoyed PLUS the layered frustration of thinking, “You’re not doing what I think you should be doing.”

This is where so much unnecessary suffering comes from, not the moment itself, but the meaning we attach to it.

Let me be clear: dropping the manual doesn’t mean you suddenly love the situation, or accept behavior that truly doesn’t work for you.

Dropping the manual simply means:

• you stop arguing with what’s real

• you stop expecting someone to be a different version of themselves

• you stop suffering twice

And here’s the part that feels empowering AF (aka, where you take your power back and focus on what you can control in the situation):

You can accept someone for who they are AND you can decide if that actually works for your life.

Same with Peloton:

I can accept their process is what it is and also decide if I want to keep giving them my business.

It’s the both-and that gives you your power back.

Taking your power back isn’t about controlling people.
It’s not about rewriting the world to match your internal rulebook.

It’s about choosing what works for you without the added drama.

You get to ask yourself:

• Can I drop my idea of how this person “should” act and accept who they actually are?

• Or is this misaligned enough that I make a change?

That’s where the power is.
That’s where things start feeling lighter.

So let me leave you with this:

Where in your life are you making things harder by creating your own rulebook that argues with reality, without even realizing it?

Because the moment you see it is when you can actually choose something different.

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FYI: For those wondering, the process for Peloton when this happens is that you literally get back in line, behind anyone else who recently ordered and find the next open delivery date (which is an additional 2-3 weeks out)…I still do not find that to be “good” customer service BUT I have accepted that it is their process AND I enjoy my current equipment (bike) from the enough to wait it out and get my treadmill, soon-ish.

Floral Arrangements + Coaching: There Are No Rules

I did a new thing last night.

And if you know me, it may come as a shock to you- but I did a Thanksgiving Floral Workshop.
(Yes, the girl who never buys flowers or expects them from her husband...)

I went in, zero experience, full confidence that I was about to fuck it up. LOL.

At first I kept thinking (and making jokes about it, because… hi, it’s me), “Okay… what’s the right way to do this?”
Like there was some secret rulebook.

I even asked the florist a couple of times, "Am I doing this wrong?”
Like if she helped me, then it would be the RIGHT way.

But here’s the funny part… she didn’t tell me what to do.
She asked what I liked.
She showed me a few options.
We played around until it felt right for me.

She was basically a coach-sure, she has her own style, but she helped me find mine.

Because there’s no one-size-fits-all.

But once I got into it…
It hit me.
There is no perfect way.

It’s literally about placing things where you want them.
What feels good. What looks right to you.
It’s subjective. It’s yours. And that’s the whole freaking point.

And honestly, this is exactly the work I do with women.

We spend years trying to follow some invisible rulebook for life, motherhood, marriage, food, bodies, careers- like there’s one “correct” way to show up.

But the magic happens when you realize…
there’s not.

You get to build your life the same way I built that flower arrangement tonight:
by learning to trust yourself a little more,
by trial and error,
by letting it be imperfect,
by noticing what actually feels good for YOU.

No rulebook.
No “perfect” way.
Just you learning to trust yourself again.

If you want support while you relearn how to trust yourself, I have 1:1 openings right now.
Let’s get back to doing more of what actually feels good for you (not what everyone else claims is the “right” way). Let’s chat.

Things I’m Not Doing This Thanksgiving: Blasting My Husband on Facebook

Found this little gem in my FB memories. Oof.

Apparently, 14 years ago passive-aggressive Facebook updates were basically my personality.

Actually, a lot of my posts before coaching came into my life had this same tone. Whether it was about Aaron, my job, or anything else outside of me I thought “was the problem.”

But I don’t post stuff like this on social media because I don’t live in that headspace anymore.

I do my best to not make it my job to manage someone else’s emotions and not blame other people for how I feel. (I'm human. Not perfect.)

But either way, I’m definitely not blasting my husband on socials on Thanksgiving anymore.

Coaching changed that part of me.
It taught me how to stop reacting to everything and start taking my power back.

At the time of this post, we were so lost in our marriage and didn’t even realize it…
Little moments like this added up-thinking the other persons mood was our problem to fix or taking their mood personally which led to resentment and petty arguments.


We weren’t bad people. We just didn’t know how to be humans with feelings instead of passive-aggressive assholes to each other.

Both unaware of it all. Both reactive. Both giving our power away to the other.

The game changed when I finally saw I wasn't just "reacting to him".

...I was reacting to my own expectations of him. My thoughts about him. Pair that with unregulated emotions and my inability to let him have his own feelings without wanting them to be different...phew. What a freaking recipe.

This is literally how that day played out:

Me: "He is so crabby and rude."
→ I'd feel irritated AF.
→ Then l'd get snappy.
→ And boom... now I'm the one being crabby.

All because I was uncomfortable with his mood and thought he should fix it. And the irony of me thinking he should fix his shit mood while creating a shit mood for myself-classic.

But now I can actually see that pattern. That's the awareness coaching gave me.

We've both changed SO MUCH since then. Not because some miracle happened, but because we had to learn how to communicate, take ownership, and stop letting our unmanaged mind and moods run our marriage.

We had to learn how to communicate, take ownership, and stop letting our unmanaged mind and moods run our marriage.

I share this because so many women I coach are in this exact place; resentful, exhausted, carrying everything, reacting instead of choosing, and feeling like the victim in their life (while maybe even showing up like the villain, yet unaware of it).

It doesn’t have to stay like that.

And if you’ve ever caught yourself posting something like this (or thinking it), spinning in your head about everything your partner does, or feeling like you’re carrying the emotional weight of the entire relationship…

You’re not alone, and you’re not broken-you’re just stuck in patterns you didn’t even realize you were in.

Give yourself the gift of awareness.

Notice when you’re trying to manage your partner’s emotions instead of your own.

Then ask yourself:
“Is this mine to carry?”
“What can I actually control here?”
…and maybe notice what YOU create when you take on their mood.

That’s the beginning. That’s the shift.
You can take your power back in your relationship.

I mean, I’m definitely proof you can unf*ck your mindset and your marriage.