Who is Future You?

Listen, some days I make the choice Future Me would be proud of. 
Other days I choose immediate gratification. But I’m worlds away from the girl who used to not even realize that she was the one in control of making choices in the present that were for her future self.


I used to think I had to already be her before I could act like her, like she’d just magically appear one day when I finally had my shit together.
(Spoiler: That’s not how it works.)

Now I know —
Future Me doesn’t just show up. 
She’s created through the choices I make today.
The small ones. The big ones. The uncomfortable ones.
Even the ones where I catch myself mid old-pattern and go, “Wait — that’s not who I want to be anymore.”

Sometimes that looks like checking in with myself:
“How do I want to feel in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 months?”
That one question alone helped me shift how I eat, how I move, how I treat myself — and so much more.

And sometimes it looks like rewriting old stories that don’t align with what I want in my future.

Am I perfect at it? Nah.

Am I still figuring out who exactly what I want for Future Me? Hell yes. 
(That’s why I have my own coach who keeps me in check.)


But that’s the work, right?
Getting clear on the version of you you’re becoming — and making choices that get you closer to her.

It’s not about being perfect.
It’s about being aware.
Pausing. Checking in.
And making the next choice that feels most like love for your future self.

That’s what I help my clients do, too.

Because who you want to be later is someone you can start showing up as now.
She’s not some unattainable version of you.

She’s not a brand-new person.

She’s already within you — just buried under the doubt, the noise, and the old stories.
She’s within reach. You just have to believe she IS who you can be.

And I can help you get there, one aligned action at a time.
I have a couple of 1:1 spots open, click here for more info.

The Wreck Was an Accident. How We Showed Up Wasn’t - Life Update

To say I am proud of us doesn’t even begin to cover it.

We were about to load up my baby - Ellie the Escalade - in Nashville to finish our road trip home from a great week in FL visiting my parents when I got a phone call from Aaron.

Now, let me preface by saying, if this had happened a few years ago, we would have been screaming—blaming each other in a parking lot 5 hours from home.

He’d be mad at the world (and probably taking it out on me… and the kids).

And I’d be nagging, giving him attitude, while quietly resenting him for wrecking my car.
(Which, by the way, I don’t. Cars are replaceable—humans aren’t.)

But today?

He called me panicked. In a way I have NEVER heard from him.
I ran outside, and instead of blame or criticism, I led with: “are you OK?” Then I hugged him.
(The jokes came shortly after because we can't help who we are...)

And he didn’t lose his shit either.
He allowed himself to feel disappointed and upset—but he stayed calm.
We cleaned out the car, filed the report, arranged the tow, and figured out a rental.

(Side note: We packed up the first stanka$$, dirty rental, got it on the highway, only to realize it shook and the ashtray smell was unberable, so we stopped back by the airport, got a new rental, unloaded and reloaded - THEN drove home.)

No yelling. No tension. Just teamwork.
That’s growth.
That’s what years of hard convos, owning our shit, and learning to feel our feelings has done for our relationship.

It’s learning to pause instead of react.
It’s choosing to be on the same team—even when shit hits the fan.

Life throws us tests when we step into new versions of ourselves…now this wasn't exactly the kind of test I had on my bingo card but I am proud of how we showed up and so damn thankful for the versions of us that didn’t turn that day into a into a miserable, tension-filled car ride with our kids stuck in the middle of it.

Changing the dynamic of a relationship is possible. Especially if you are willing to put in the work.

---

The “I have to make light of this because it is who I am” post that came first on social media (with a little more backstory:

He can grill...really well. (Contrary to what many of you think based off of our last viral video. )
And he does a $hit ton of other things most men would hire someone to do:
Build things
Fix broken things (house related, technology related ...you name it, he can figure it out)
Put things together
Works a demanding job to provide us with the best life.
On top of all of that cleans my house better than I ever will. And keeps up with laundry...

He is literally superhuman.

But do not hand him your car keys at 6am before he has had coffee and has only been awake for 15 minutes.

In all seriousness:
1) No one was hurt
2) There was a human walking in the parking lot, Aaron had his eyes focused on not hitting the person but found the pole instead - this was the aftermath.

What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

Ever look in the mirror and feel like you're spiraling?
One minute you’re checking your outfit—and the next, your brain’s feeding you a full-blown highlight reel of everything that’s “wrong” with you.

That moment? It’s not just about your body.
It’s the result of the stories you’ve been living by. And your thoughts about your body are just ONE example.

The blog below will help you figure out what those stories are (in all areas of your life),
where they came from, and how to finally rewrite them—for good.

There are stories running in the background of your life. Most of us don’t even realize they’re there.

We wake up and they’re there. We go through our day and they’re there. Same thoughts. Same patterns. Same shitty self-talk on repeat.

And we don’t even question them because to us those thought loops feel so freaking true.

And a lot of the time… it’s not exactly uplifting.

It sounds like:

• “You’re not doing enough.”

• “Your body isn’t where it should be.”

• “Gah, WTF is wrong with you?!”

• “You’re definitely screwing up your kids.”

• “You literally can’t get your shit together.”

• “You’re still struggling with this? Really?!”

• “You’re too much for people.”

• “Nobody cares what you have to say.”

Yes, negative self talk is a bitch. But it is also something ALL of us experience.

It was WAY easier for our brains to go the negative route vs finding ways we’re kinda freaking awesome. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with you because of it, it is literally how our brains are wired.

And finding ways to view ourselves in a different light doesn’t always come easy, especially when your brain wants to go the other direction. But the good news is, it is possible.

It’s a DAILY practice but you can flip the script on the stories you tell about yourself that may not be serving you.

Step 1: Start Paying Attention Today

• What thoughts show up when you wake up?

• What do you hear in your mind when you look in the mirror?

• What runs through your head when you sit in traffic, get an email, or open social media?

You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to change it. You just have to notice it.

Because you can’t change what you’re not even aware of. (And trust me—with awareness, you are way more powerful than whatever old belief your brain is throwing at you.)

Not sure what stories you're carrying? Try this exercise:

What do I really believe about...
My body?
My ability to feel my feelings?
My relationship with food?
The kind of mom, partner, or friend I am?
How much I can actually handle?
What’s possible for my life?

Just start noticing what comes up when you ask these.

You might think, “I don’t think anything about that” — but if you’re miserable at your job, or constantly stressed about your relationship, or spiraling around food... there’s likely an underlying story shaping that experience.

And just to be clear: Not every thought is a problem. Some are empowering. Some you’ve fought hard to believe. Some come and go with no negative impact. But the ones we’re noticing are the ones that chip away at you without you even realizing it. That create results in your life that you don’t like or can’t seem to figure why you have them. That you think are just facts - it is just who you are. But if a story is creating results you don’t like? Keeping you stuck? Leaving you drained?

That’s the one to get curious about. That’s the self-talk we’re here to shift.

Step 2: Start Questioning the Thought

Once you’ve noticed what’s showing up on repeat, you might realize: some of these thoughts… you didn’t even choose. Maybe they were handed to you. Programmed in. Picked up somewhere along the way.

Now it’s time to start questioning them.

Are these thoughts even TRUE? Are they even HELPFUL?

Because when you start challenging that old inner dialogue—you loosen its grip. You stop living by rules and beliefs you never agreed to.

When you catch your brain offering up a thought that’s doing more harm than good, try asking:

• What evidence do I have to prove this true?

• How is this not true?

• What’s the opposite of this thought?

• What would my best friend say if I told her this?

This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about getting curious about the stories you’ve been living by—and realizing you can choose to change them.

Step 3: Separate Yourself from the Thought

Just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean it’s true. And even if it feels true? It’s still just a thought. Not your identity. Not your truth.

You don’t have to believe everything you think about yourself.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one noticing them.

Here’s a simple trick: add some distance. Try saying:

• “My brain keeps offering the thought...”

• “I’m thinking the thought...”

• “There goes my brain again repeating that old story...”

Suddenly, the thought becomes just that: a sentence in your mind. Not who you are. Not something you have to believe.

Maybe those beliefs were programmed by past experiences. Maybe they’re just the greatest hits from old patterns. Either way—you don’t have to keep giving them power.

You get to choose a different belief.

Step 4: Rewrite the Story

So now what? You’ve noticed the thought. You’ve questioned the ones that don’t serve you. You’ve separated yourself from them.

Now it’s time to write a better story.

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to think about myself?

• What could I believe instead?

• What would my Future Self say to me?

New thoughts don’t need to feel magical. In fact, they might feel awkward or uncertain at first. The trick is choosing something that feels believable to you right now—something that stretches you just enough to build trust and shift the story one layer at a time.

You’re learning to shift your inner narrative—one thought, one belief at a time.
And if you get to decide what to think on purpose - why not make it work in your favor?

But YOU are the author. The creator. The voice that gets to decide what plays on repeat. And you get to choose the story you want to live by.

Not perfectly. Not instantly. But on purpose.

This isn’t a practice so you can judge yourself for your thoughts - it is so you can consciously become aware of what you are thinking & see how that is creating results in your life, then from there you get to decide to hang on to it or do the work to find thoughts that better serve you.

If you get stuck picking new beliefs—or your mind still feels like chaos—let’s chat!

This is the kind of work we do in coaching: not just noticing the thoughts, but rewriting the story so it actually serves you.

You don’t have to live by the same old self-talk. You get to choose something new.

Raising Resilient Kids in a Competitive World: A Real Talk Guide for Moms

This topic started with a post at a baseball game. I was sitting there watching, feeling nostalgic for when kids got to do stuff they loved—without it being a cutthroat competition. Without needing to prove they were "good enough" just to play.

I shared some thoughts on IG. And moms flooded my inbox.

Turns out, we’re all wondering the same thing:

When did everything become so intense? When did the fun get replaced with pressure? Why does it feel like kids have to be naturally talented or start straight outta the womb or they’ll never catch up?

Let’s get into it—and what’s actually in our power as parents.

Life isn’t fair. Rejection isn’t optional. And resilience isn’t built in comfort.

We don’t build strong kids by shielding them from the hard stuff. We build strong kids by walking through it with them. Not with sugarcoating. Not with toxic positivity. But with support, vulnerability, and tools they can carry for life.

Life’s gonna hand them hard stuff. Our job isn’t to bubble wrap them—or dismiss what they feel— it’s to give them the tools to bounce back.

As a Mom, My Job Isn’t to Make Life Fair

I don’t need my kid in the starting lineup. I don’t believe everyone deserves a trophy.

But I do miss when kids could play for fun. I do hate that some kids don’t get playing time—ever.

Like my friend Jenna said (when we chatted on IG), our job isn’t to make life fair. It’s to teach them how to be emotionally resilient.

That means we don’t just say, “Suck it up.” We say: “Yeah, this sucks. Yeah, it feels unfair. Here’s how we move through it.”

The Story Kids May Create When They Put Themselves Out There

Kids are constantly making sense of the world—and themselves—through their experiences.

When they try out, audition, or speak up and it doesn’t go their way, here’s what might take root:

• "I’m not good enough."

• "Why did I even try?"

• "I’ll never catch up."

• "They were right—I don’t belong here."

Without support, those thoughts don’t just fade. They turn into beliefs. And those beliefs shape their future decisions.

Let’s help them rewrite the story, even when the outcome isn’t what they hoped for.

What’s In Our Power as Parents?

Here are 6 ways we can help build emotional resilience in our kids:

1. Normalize Rejection Early
Let them know: everyone hears "no." It’s not the no—it’s the story we attach to it.

• Share your own rejections—real-life or famous ones.

• Talk about rejection in shows/movies: “What would you have done?”

• Let them submit to a contest or try out for something low-stakes.

  • Check in after: “How did it feel to try?” “What were you proud of?”

These small exposures build confidence in their ability to bounce back.

2. Teach Them to Separate Outcome from Identity
“This didn’t go my way… and I still matter.”

• Talk about who they are outside of their achievements.

• Celebrate the courage to try—not just the outcome.

• Remind them: Their worth isn’t tied to a trophy, a grade, or a starting spot.

Celebrate who they are and how they showed up, not just what they achieved.

3. Give Them Space to Feel It
Resilience isn’t skipping over the feelings-it’s letting them feel it without shame.

• Don’t rush to fix it.

• Help them name their feelings.

• Validate Them: “Of course you feel disappointed.”

• Don’t try to silver-lining it too soon. Let them be human first.

4. Model How to Bounce Back
Let them see you miss out, grieve, pivot, and try again. They’re watching how we handle disappointment.

5. Reinforce Effort > Outcome
Praise the showing up. The trying. The courage. Not just the win.

• Say: “That must’ve been hard—and I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there.”

• Focus on growth and bravery over perfection.

Success isn’t just measure through external results. It’s who you become in the process.

6. Rejection is Redirection
Help them see that sometimes the closed door leads to what’s really meant for them.

• Share examples of when a no turned into something better.

• Help them hold hope—even if they can’t see it yet.

• Remind them: We can’t always see it now, but we’re not done yet.

They may not fully get it in the moment, but these conversations plant seeds. We help shape the story they tell themselves after a “no.” So it doesn’t turn into a lifelong belief that they weren’t good enough.

We don’t control the outcome. But we can help them build the tools so rejection doesn’t wreck their worth.

What No One Tells You About Body Image Spirals

You can do all the work. Unlearn the diet culture BS.
Know your worth isn’t tied to the scale or the size of your pants.
Hell—you can coach others through it.

Yet still—some days, you look in the mirror or step on the scale... And bam. The spiral hits.

(And it doesn't help when all of social media is screaming at you to shrink yourself.)

"Just eat less."
"You can’t go on vacation like this."
"Summer’s coming, you better fix this."

And just like that, any self-acceptance goes out the window. Now it’s about control and punishment.

Most of us take one of two roads:

👉🏼 Self-Sabotage (“I already messed up… what’s the point?”)
This looks like:

• Eating more because you already feel bad about what you ate earlier

• Skipping movement even though you know it helps your mood—"why bother?"

• Dismissing small wins and any progress you’ve made

• Doing the things that make you feel like shit (overeating, overdrinking) and saying, "I'll start fresh Monday"

• Letting the shame spiral convince you you’re failing—so you act like it’s true
  (Our brains LOVE to prove old stories right.)

In self-sabotage, you're not caring for yourself. You're numbing and avoiding.

👉🏼 Punishment Mode (“Fix it. Fast.”)
This looks like:

• Restricting food—not because it feels good, but because you feel guilty AF

• Cutting back on carbs even though you know how that ends

• Obsessively searching for the quick fix to “undo the damage”

• Pushing yourself into workouts that feel like punishment

• Going out, but you’re in your head the whole time, convinced everyone’s judging you
  (👀 Spoiler: it’s you judging you.)

This isn’t discipline. It’s fear disguised as control.

The third path is quieter—but it’s the one we actually need to get unstuck:

👉🏼 Self-Respect (“I can take care of myself—because I matter. Even on the hard days.”)
This looks like:

• Eating foods that feel good physically and emotionally

• Moving in ways that reconnect you to your body

• Speaking to yourself like someone you care about—even when it’s uncomfortable

• Wearing the outfit anyway—because hiding isn’t the vibe

• Letting your body exist without being the enemy

• Reminding yourself: these stories were never really yours (thanks, diet culture, social media, and generational patterns we didn’t ask for)

• Making changes from self-respect—not self-rejection

🖤 This path builds trust.
🖤 It creates consistency.
🖤 It helps you stop obsessing over your body so you can actually live your life.

No perfection required.

So before you spiral down those old paths again… ask yourself:
👉🏼 How can I take care of myself today—without punishing my body?
👉🏼 What would feel good right now, based on what I need—not what I weigh or how I look?

Let this be your pause. Let this be the moment you choose compassion over control. Love doesn’t always look like warm fuzzies. Sometimes it looks like not being an asshole to yourself on the hard days.

And if that third path still feels far away for you—let’s chat.
This is the exact work I do with my clients. It is a practice I use myself too.