The Thought That’s Quietly Sabotaging Your Eating Habits (and What to Do Instead)

You know those moments when you feel like you should have more control around food?

And you say things like,
“Why can’t I just stop eating once I’m full?”
”I knew I wasn’t hungry, but I ate it anyway… what’s wrong with me?”

Those might sound like harmless questions, but underneath them is one thought I hear from women all the time—

“I have no self-control.”

And it sounds like the truth.
Except that thought? It’s not motivating you.
It’s sabotaging you.

Why This Thought Is So Damaging

When you tell yourself “I have no self-control,” here’s what happens:

• You feel defeated before you even begin

• You spiral after one snack or choice that didn’t go as planned

• You stop trusting yourself

• You prove yourself right—over and over again

That thought becomes your identity… and the cycle continues.

What If You Got Curious Instead?

Instead of labeling yourself, try asking:

• What was I feeling before I ate that?

• Was I actually hungry—or just tired, stressed, or overwhelmed?

• What do I actually need right now?

That’s where everything shifts.
Because when you move from judgment to curiosity, you create space for something new.

New thoughts like:

• “I’m learning to trust myself around food.”

• “I’m figuring out what actually feels good for me.”

Not just fluffy affirmations—but actual thoughts that build self-trust, one choice at a time.

This Is the Work I Do With My Clients
A lot of women don’t even realize how powerful their thoughts are, around anything, not just food.
They think they need more willpower, a new plan, better discipline or are just stuck, in general.

But the truth is—your thoughts are the root of your results.

This is why I coach the way I do. We slow it down.
We get curious. And we shift the thoughts that are keeping you stuck so you can actually build something sustainable.

So next time your brain wants to throw out “I have no self-control”—pause.

That’s not the truth. That’s just an old thought.

And you don’t have to keep believing it.

Ready to change the story you’re living in? I’ve got a few coaching spots open—click here to learn more.

You're Just One Scribble Away from Shifting Your Story

I like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at challenging my 'I can’t' thoughts... but this one snuck right past me.

I’m currently in a coaching container where we’re working on expanding our capacity, and I had a mini ah-ha moment this morning — a breakthrough, if you will. Here is what I shared with them:

I’ve been thinking a lot about capacity* lately — what I believe I can handle, what I think I’m capable of, & where I quietly tell myself, 'I can’t.'

A few weeks ago at Epcot (during the Festival of the Arts), my daughter wanted to go to an Animation Academy presentation. I hesitated — I actually almost just watched — but the cast members (and Maren, my mini me) convinced me to grab a pencil and a blank piece of paper.

We sat down, and all I could think was,
"I can’t draw."
"There’s no way I can do this."

(Now I can see — that was just an old story I’d been telling myself.)

I texted my husband and friend saying, “This is going to be a hot mess...”

Even as the artist walked us through it — my brain kept saying, “No way this is gonna be Goofy...”

Yep, I kept doubting myself — even when the drawing was literally coming together in front of me.

Isn’t it wild how doubt shows up — even when you’re already proving yourself wrong?

But then... it did come together.

And the pride I felt in myself? Honestly, I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

Fast forward to this morning — I was walking on my walking pad when I glanced over and saw my Goofy drawing hanging in my office. And it hit me…

I walked into that room with zero belief in my ability to draw. I had no capacity for it.

But here’s the thing...

• I built the capacity by sitting down, starting, and trusting the process.

• I didn’t have to believe I could do it or know how — I just had to follow the next step.

• With that decision to try, I expanded my capacity & shifted my story.

And now? I know that if I really wanted to learn how to draw, I could. The capacity is there — I just hadn’t tapped into it yet.

Here’s what I want you to know:

• You don’t have to fully believe in yourself to begin — you just have to start.

• Change the story and take action as if you’re already that person.

• Sometimes you don’t realize how capable you are until you look back and think, “Wait... I did that?”

A ‘Lil assignment for ya:

Let’s start with the fun one:

• Can you look back and think of something you once thought, "No way..." — but now you’re like, "Wait... I DID that!"

Now, let’s see where that story might be holding you back right now:

• Where are you stuck in the story of "I can’t..."?

• Where have you decided, "I’m just not someone who..."?

• Where are you limiting your capacity before giving yourself a chance to see what’s possible?

Notice the story — then challenge it.

Trust yourself enough to start, even when you’re convinced you can’t pull it off. That’s what expanding capacity (& shifting your story) is really about.

You don’t have to feel ready — you just have to be willing to give yourself a chance to surprise yourself.

And honestly? I def surprised myself — my Goofy is f’n good. 😂👏🏼

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*CAPACITY: Your potential to handle, learn, or achieve something — even if you haven’t tapped into it yet.
It’s not about what you already know or believe you can do — it’s about what you’re capable of building through practice, effort, & experience.

Guilt vs. Gut: Learning to Tell the Difference

JA Biz Town.

The field trip where I let "mom guilt" make my decision. 🤣

Would I do it again if I had another kid going through it? Nope. Was it terrible? Also nope.

I actually got lucky with the biz I was assigned to and a group of kids who handled things pretty well on their own. But... not being with Maren on a field trip? Definitely not my jam.

I'm sharing this as a blog post for anyone who missed my stories about how I had to have my coach literally talk me through why I said yes in the first place...because I think there is a lesson here for all the moms.

Turns out my “yes”, it wasn’t my voice at all — it was guilt. It was the voices around me. The "good mom" narrative that said I should go.

“It’s their last field trip in Elementary School.”
“You won’t get to do this again…”
“It could be the last time they ask you to come...”
“You really should, she will have that memory forever…”
Oof, of course anyone would feel obligated after hearing all of that…

Y’all, I knew zero about this field trip when I OVER zealously volunteered.

Fast forward to last week — I was stressed about how the whole thing worked (i.e. I would not even be assigned to Maren’s group), regretting my decision, and honestly debating emailing the teacher to see if another mom or dad (who was genuinely excited) wanted to take my spot.

But I didn’t. Because guilt kept me frozen. I spent two days telling myself, "Other people will think I’m a terrible mom if I back out."

So I texted my coach.

And she asked me three questions that hit hard:

1. If I knew Maren wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t go, would I give up my spot?

2. If I knew the teacher wouldn’t be left high and dry, would I give up my spot?

3. If I was in a vacuum — no outside voices — what would I say to going?

It was so obvious once she asked those questions... my answer was "no" all along. I’d just let guilt drown out what I already knew.

I did end up emailing the teacher once I got that clarity... but by that point, it was too late to back out. And honestly? It turned out fine. I made the best of it and still showed up in a way that felt good for me.

Even posting this makes me nervous — fear of other moms judging me for admitting this is real. But I'm sharing it for the moms who feel the same way but are afraid to speak up.

My truth doesn’t mean I love my kid any less; it just means I have a different idea of how I want to show up for her (and her brother) than other moms — and that’s okay!

This is a prime example of 'you do you.' We all get to show up differently. We get to decide what’s important to us and what we can let go of — but first, we have to drown out the outside noise telling us what we should want to do or worrying about what others will think.

And if you’ve ever been stuck in that guilt spiral, you know how loud those voices can get.

For me, this was a powerful reminder that I get to decide what feels right for me as a mom — not what other people think I should do.

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If you’re feeling stuck in a decision right now, here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. If no one else knew about this decision, what would I choose?

2. If I wasn’t worried about what others would think, what would I do?

3. Am I saying yes because I want to or because I feel like I should?

4. If this decision didn’t impact how others see me, what would feel best for me?

5. Am I trying to avoid guilt, judgment, or disappointing someone by saying yes?

6. What would 'Future Me' — the version of me that feels calm, clear, and aligned — choose in this situation?

7. Am I sacrificing my peace or values to meet someone else's expectations?

8. Would I still make this choice if I knew no one would thank me or praise me for it?

9. If I knew my kid (or partner, friend, etc.) would still feel loved and supported, what would I choose?

10. What feels like love — for me, for my family, for my peace of mind?

Lesson learned: Sometimes you say yes because you want to, and sometimes you say yes because you feel like you should. Knowing the difference? Game changer.

If you’ve ever let guilt talk you into something, know you’re not alone. The voices around you can get loud. But tuning into what you really want? That's where the magic happens.

Thankful for a mom friend who was in charge of Maren’s job / space - she snagged pics and sent them to me. She was the CFO of the radio station.

Side note on why it was not my jam:
1) Not being able to see Maren in action. I attend field trips to be with her but I did not get a chance to go to her business & see her working. I would have LOVED to have experienced it with her. That was first “oh f” moment for me when I got my volunteer paperwork to sign, realizing I wasn’t even part of her group.
2) I got to see her when she was running around “shopping” & snagged a selfie + a pic of her with a friend.
3) We tried to eat lunch together but the cafe was packed, I ended up standing next to her with my arms pinned to my side shoving an “adult lunchable” in my face while she chatted with friends and kids ran into me trying to get from table to table. I was literally just in the way. LOL.
Then it was back to our own businesses. But I stand by what I said above, I showed up in a way that felt in alignment for me, despite it not being my ideal volunteer situation.

Again, this is my experience of it - another mom may go to this field trip and have a complete opposite story - THAT IS OK! That doesn’t make my story or hers any less valid or true.

A Lesson in Resiliance

I feel like this deserves a spot on the blog….

It happened... 3rd time’s a charm, I guess?! Let me give you a "little backstory" on why this is a big deal in our house:

Mason played rec ball as a kid but never really got into it. Took a break, stepped onto the mat (martial arts), and eventually got back into rec ball.

When we moved to California, he found a travel ball team and decided he was ready to take the sport more seriously. When we came back home, he kept at it—playing for different travel teams.

If I’m being honest? He wasn’t great. He knew it. We knew it. LOL. But that didn’t stop him from showing up—even when some of his teammates weren’t exactly kind to him.

After seeing how competitive travel ball was here, Mason realized he had some work to do—and he didn’t shy away from it. He focused on three key things:

1️⃣His Attitude: Mason was letting the words of others—and how he showed up in the game—affect his mood.

This was a mix of growing up, learning to manage some ADHD tendencies, and finding the right teammates and coaches.

We’ve come across plenty of coaches who shouldn’t have been coaching... but that’s a rant for another day—one with so many layers that it still makes me a little angry just thinking about it.

Instead of dwelling on that, we focused on what Mason could control: His attitude. His responses. His reactions.

Thankfully, this past season, he landed on a great team with a solid coach. And just to cover all of our bases (haha, get it?), we brought in a life coach who focuses on mindset for athletes — and that’s been a total game-changer.

2️⃣ His Hitting: After freshman tryouts, when he didn’t make the team, Mason came home and said, “What can I do?” That’s when we found CJ, his hitting coach since 2023.

3️⃣ His Pitching: After sophomore tryouts, when he didn’t make the team again, Mason got clear on where he wanted to spend 100% of his energy and decided to add pitching to his skill set. So on top of hitting, he joined the pitching program at P3.

He’s put in the work—mentally and physically—not because he’s chasing the big leagues, but because he genuinely loves the game.

And this year? That dedication finally paid off.

The head coach pulled him aside and told him he’d seen Mason’s growth over the last couple of years. He gave Mason credit for continuing to show up—even when he didn’t make the team, when most kids would have quit. (At this point, Mason’s brain went straight to “Great, I’m getting cut again”—but nope.)

Instead, the coach offered him a spot on the JV team.

We don’t know his official position yet since things have shifted a bit since that conversation, but either way, his effort didn’t go unnoticed—and for that, Mason is beyond grateful.

What blows me away the most is that Mason took each roadblock and turned it into a new opportunity for growth. At his age? I would have been like, “Yeah, I’m good... I give up.”

We are incredibly proud of his resilience, his hard work, and his love for the game.

This journey has been tough at times, but Mason’s story is proof that showing up—even when it’s hard—matters.

Why We Ghost Ourselves: The Real Reason We Stop Showing Up

Have you ever signed up for something, felt motivated AF at first, and then… slowly disappeared? Maybe you ignored the emails, skipped a session, or told yourself you’d ‘start fresh Monday’ (again). And then—poof—you ghosted.

You’re not alone.

The Hidden Reasons We Ghost Ourselves

Our Brains Resist Change – We are wired for safety, and our brains naturally pull us back to comfort. If we don’t recognize this, we might cave to old habits—even if where we are isn’t where we want to be.

Change Feels Overwhelming – When you start something new, it’s exciting. But then reality hits. The old habits, the familiar comfort zones, the resistance. It’s easier to avoid than to push through discomfort.

All-or-Nothing Thinking Kicks In – If you feel like you’re not ‘doing it perfectly,’ the urge to quit creeps in. Instead of adjusting, you think, I’ve already messed up, so what’s the point?

Fear of Failure (or Success!) – What if you do make changes and it still doesn’t feel like enough? Or what if success comes with expectations you don’t feel ready for? Sometimes, ghosting is self-protection.

Emotional Resistance – Change isn’t just about actions—it’s about identity. If you’ve spent years believing you’re ‘not someone who follows through’ (a familiar story of my own), sticking with something challenges that belief. And that can feel really uncomfortable. Insert any old identity you may have of yourself that challenges the person you are becoming, because it can create resistance.

So… What Now?

If you’ve ghosted something that matters to you, instead of beating yourself up, try this:

• Get Curious: Ask yourself why you pulled away. Were you overwhelmed? Expecting perfection? Feeling unsure?

• Shrink the Step: Instead of ‘starting over,’ pick one small thing to do today. Not Monday. Not next month. Today.

• Have Your Own Back: Shame keeps you stuck. Compassion helps you move forward. Treat yourself like you would a friend who’s struggling.

Ghosting doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means something wasn’t working for you. And now, you get to figure out what does.

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How a Coach Can Help You Break the Cycle

1. Help You See Your Patterns Clearly – Sometimes, we're too close to our own struggles to recognize them. A coach helps you identify where you're getting stuck and why.

2. Give You the Tools to Move Forward – Instead of defaulting to old habits, you'll learn strategies that actually work for you—without falling into the all-or-nothing trap.

3. Provide Accountability & Support – Change feels easier when you're not doing it alone. Having someone in your corner makes a huge difference in following through.

When you stop ghosting yourself, you start building trust with you. And that’s where the real change happens.

If this hits home— what’s one thing you can do today to show up for yourself?

Maybe it’s signing up for 1:1 coaching or a consult..just sayin’! I got you, boo.

Click the pink link to get started!