You can do all the work. Unlearn the diet culture BS.
Know your worth isn’t tied to the scale or the size of your pants.
Hell—you can coach others through it.
Yet still—some days, you look in the mirror or step on the scale... And bam. The spiral hits.
(And it doesn't help when all of social media is screaming at you to shrink yourself.)
"Just eat less."
"You can’t go on vacation like this."
"Summer’s coming, you better fix this."
And just like that, any self-acceptance goes out the window. Now it’s about control and punishment.
Most of us take one of two roads:
👉🏼 Self-Sabotage (“I already messed up… what’s the point?”)
This looks like:
Eating more because you already feel bad about what you ate earlier
Skipping movement even though you know it helps your mood—"why bother?"
Dismissing small wins and any progress you’ve made
Doing the things that make you feel like shit (overeating, overdrinking) and saying, "I'll start fresh Monday"
Letting the shame spiral convince you you’re failing—so you act like it’s true
(Our brains LOVE to prove old stories right.)
In self-sabotage, you're not caring for yourself. You're numbing and avoiding.
👉🏼 Punishment Mode (“Fix it. Fast.”)
This looks like:
Restricting food—not because it feels good, but because you feel guilty AF
Cutting back on carbs even though you know how that ends
Obsessively searching for the quick fix to “undo the damage”
Pushing yourself into workouts that feel like punishment
Going out, but you’re in your head the whole time, convinced everyone’s judging you
(👀 Spoiler: it’s you judging you.)
This isn’t discipline. It’s fear disguised as control.
The third path is quieter—but it’s the one we actually need to get unstuck:
👉🏼 Self-Respect (“I can take care of myself—because I matter. Even on the hard days.”)
This looks like:
Eating foods that feel good physically and emotionally
Moving in ways that reconnect you to your body
Speaking to yourself like someone you care about—even when it’s uncomfortable
Wearing the outfit anyway—because hiding isn’t the vibe
Letting your body exist without being the enemy
Reminding yourself: these stories were never really yours (thanks, diet culture, social media, and generational patterns we didn’t ask for)
Making changes from self-respect—not self-rejection
🖤 This path builds trust.
🖤 It creates consistency.
🖤 It helps you stop obsessing over your body so you can actually live your life.
No perfection required.
So before you spiral down those old paths again… ask yourself:
👉🏼 How can I take care of myself today—without punishing my body?
👉🏼 What would feel good right now, based on what I need—not what I weigh or how I look?
Let this be your pause. Let this be the moment you choose compassion over control. Love doesn’t always look like warm fuzzies. Sometimes it looks like not being an asshole to yourself on the hard days.
And if that third path still feels far away for you—let’s chat.
This is the exact work I do with my clients. It is a practice I use myself too.