I feel like this topic is the backbone of what I coach my clients on - both shitty self talk AND self limiting beliefs come up on the regular so it’s time to talk about the two, how they are different and how they work together!
Shitty Selk Talk (SST):
✨Negative sentences flying through our brains that don’t serve us.
✨Our brains have a negativity bias so we tend to give these thoughts more attention than they deserve.
✨They leave us feeling like a$$ about ourselves (clearly my own definition here).
✨Shitty self talk can be subtle or loud.
✨It’s 100% your inner mean girl just being a bitch.
“I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I said that.”
Result: You are all up in your head obsessing over how dumb you are for what you said. Your brain proceeds to find all the evidence that you’re stupid to prove it even more true.
You spend a whole lot of time beating yourself up.
All of this blocks you from being compassionate with yourself & being able to see all the ways you’re actually pretty damn smart.
Or maybe someone gives you a compliment and your immediate reply is “Thanks BUT _____….” insert negative comment about yourself here.
It’s like you have negative tunnel vision about yourself, your body or even a situation.
Start to check your thoughts. If you’re talking to yourself like an asshole most of the time, that’s your inner critic coming in 🔥 with SST.
Some shitty self talk comes in waves but thinking certain thoughts over & over again lead them to become beliefs. Enter….
Self Limiting Beliefs (SLBs):
✨Stories that you’re holding onto for dear life.
✨You don’t question them & you believe them to be true.
✨You may not even realize you have that story until someone outside of you (ahem, a coach) helps you see it.
✨They limit your potential AND keeps you stuck AF.
“I’m just not the kind of person who belongs in that room.”
Result: This holds you back from showing up fully IF you even show up at all.
It can feel VERY factual to you and it’s likely a fear of failure playing out as a limiting belief in your mind.
SLBs like to keep you safe in your bubble.
They are like programming in your brain from ALL the people & things in your life. Past experiences. Comments from people in your life. The values & beliefs you were taught growing up. Messaging from all around us (social media is a big one). It’s easy for your brain to hang onto SLBs. Our brains prefer to be efficient & believing something new requires stepping outside of our comfort zone, which takes effort & can be risky. AKA, not safe in our bubble.
A lot of them start with “It’s just who I am…” or “I’ve always been this way.”
These could have came from childhood, also highly like they aren’t true.
Pay attention to your thoughts. You can even write them down. And really start to question them, where does this thought come from? When did I decide this?
✨Your inner critic aligns with your self limiting beliefs.
✨They work “well” together - just the brains way of keeping your safe experiencing failure, rejection, embarrassment, etc.
✨They both can create a shit ton of doubt & feelings of “not enough” in your life.
✨Our kiddos can even hear or catch onto them & internalize them (potentially leading to their own SST & SLBs down the road).
Phew! I hope this helped you see how the two are different but also how they can gang up on you.