Before I was a life coach, I was right where you are. I was the mom barely holding it all together, wondering how the hell everyone else seemed to be doing it better. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was drowning under expectations I had never questioned. I thought that’s just how motherhood was supposed to be—exhausting, overwhelming, and never-ending.
I was trying to keep up with what other moms were doing—being a Pinterest mom, all the birthday parties, all the pumpkin patches or Christmas Light displays, cooking, cleaning, kids activities, etc. Not to mention, more often than not back then, I was (we were) unhappy in my marriage which added more mental fatigue to the mix.
Asking for help matters, but even with help, the mental load doesn’t just disappear. The real shift happens when you let go of the stories that tell you what you should be able to handle.
That’s why I’m so passionate about helping other moms now. I wish I’d had someone back then to tell me to stop striving for perfection, to get clear on what actually mattered to me, and to prioritize myself without guilt. Coaching helps with exactly that—learning how to shift your mindset so you’re not constantly in survival mode.
But back then, one thing kept me grounded: my morning routine. And that’s where the rest of this story comes in...
Feb 5, 2020
Confession: I cried to Aaron last week, over what some would consider some stupid AF shit. I cried because he told me he had to travel. Again.🙄
It feels like he has been gone a lot lately. Then pair that with all the late starts, early releases, days off school & whatever else happens in LIFE…like my commute to work on the daily, it is a lot!
I didn’t cry because I have to go to work. I am thankful for & enjoy my job. I didn’t cry because I was mad at Aaron, I am thankful for how hard he works for our family, travel included. I cried because it is hard. Period.
It is hard to get yourself & everyone out of the door in the morning without losing your shit. It is hard to come home after a long day + commute, cook dinner & get them to their activities & do bedtime.
Mama’s, IT is HARD to take care of yourself while feeling like you have no time because you have to do it all. You barely have time to sit down & if you do get to sit down, rest assured, someone will need something….
But you know what? I would have cried had I been a stay at home mom still too, because whether you work in an office, work from home or you are a stay at home mom, whether you are a single mama or married…THIS SHIT IS NOT EASY! Not for anyone. And those who like to say they have it all together are full of shit, no one has it all figured out! But those who admit that they struggle to balance it all, I FEEL YOU! You are my people.
And in times like these, when I know that once they are up, my day revolves around them, I am freaking thankful AF to have my morning routine because that ends up being the only time in the day for ME. That is when I put on my oxygen mask & do what I need to do to feel less stressed.
Wake up. Read a book for personal growth. Write in my gratitude journal. Workout.
Even when I want to sleep, I get up & I make sure my morning routine doesn’t get pushed aside. (Or sometimes, you feel like crap, sleep in & decide to get it done later in the day...) Even when it seems like there are no hours left in the day (remember, you have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce…or maybe JLo is better reference these days), even when you don’t wanna do it, MAKE THE TIME, because as a mama, we have to find to pour into ourselves to be able to pour into our families, jobs and friends.
But more importantly, if you make the time, you will feel 1000x better about tackling this crazy thing called motherhood. And maybe just maybe, yell a little less...
Ok, I can’t guarantee that one but it works for some. I am not some….😂🤷🏼♀️
(I should also note: I am LUCKY AF that I have a dad that helps me as often as he can but I also don’t feel like it should always be on my parents to help me when I am flying solo.)
It’s still hard sometimes—but I’m also in a different season now. My kids are older, and life looks a little different. Yet, even though I’m not in the thick of those toddler and early school years anymore, I still get it. I remember those days when it felt like the world revolved around everyone but me.
Back then, I thought the answer was pushing myself harder or waiting for circumstances to magically change. Now I know the key is changing the way I think about all of it. I help moms learn how to do that—so they can stop fighting with motherhood and finally feel more in control again.
Because it’s not about "having it all together." It's about finding ways to show up for yourself in the middle of the mess. That’s how you start breaking free from the cycle of stress and burnout. And you don’t have to do it alone.
What if it didn’t have to be this hard?
What if you could feel less overwhelmed—even in this crazy season of life?
Here are some tips to help you get started:
Get clear on what actually matters to YOU. Not what other moms are doing. Not what social media or family expectations say you should be doing. If the school Valentine’s party doesn’t light you up, skip the homemade crafts. Focus your energy on the things that are most important to you and your family.
Communicate clearly with your spouse (or partner). Not in that “ugh, you should know what I need!” way (which, let’s be real, we’ve all done), but in a way that clearly says what’s important to you and where you need support. I used to think, "If I have to ask, it doesn’t count." Girl, that story is BS. They aren’t mind readers.
Prioritize yourself. I know it sounds impossible when you can barely get a moment to pee alone. But making time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Whether that’s getting up for a quiet morning routine or taking 20 minutes to do something that fills your cup, you need to pour into yourself. Otherwise, you'll keep running on empty.
Let go of perfection. We have this idea that if we could just do it all better, then life would feel easier. But spoiler: perfection isn’t real. It’s a hamster wheel that keeps you stuck. Focus on progress, not perfection.
Shifting out of survival mode isn’t about fixing all your external circumstances. It’s about changing how you approach them, getting out of the all-or-nothing mindset, and figuring out what works for you.
xoxo,
Ash