“I wish my hubs would just plan an entire evening, take me out & I don’t even have to ask…”
You’ve said it, right?
Then, a holiday or special occasion rolls around & he hasn’t read your mind…you get all pissy that your date night (that you made up in your head but didn’t tell anyone about), didn’t happen.
You pout.
You get irritated with him.
And he has NO CLUE what he did wrong.
Or you do this…
You drop hints hoping he will get it & then, NOTHING.
No date night. Like ever. Planned.
And again, you pout.
You get irritated with him & he still has NO CLUE what he did wrong.
Hear me out…what if you:
1. STATE exactly what you would like & IF he wants, he can plan the date night. Like we tell our kids…“USE YOUR (DAMN) WORDS.” Keep in mind, you can request what you want, but he is a grown ass adult, he may not WANT to do it. And get this, that is ok…because you have a second option.
2. Just plan it yourself? I planned our date tonight. I knew what I wanted, I asked if he was in & then I set it up. Get this shit…we both had a GREAT evening.
Men are NOT mind readers. And you know what you want BETTER than anyone else.
I get it, trust me.
BEEN THERE.
We think they should know that we want candy & flowers on Valentine’s Day or that we WANT them to plan date night for our anniversary. We think that if we tell them, it is not the same or it doesn’t count. But he is not going to GUESS what you want.
And I can tell you that not once during our date night did the thought run through my mind that he didn’t care about me enough because HE didn’t take the time to plan our night out.
Do you always know what he wants? Prob not.
Think of how much less disappointment there would be if you just SAID what you wanted. Or if you just took control of the things you wanted & dropped the expectation that he has to do it all (& without being told…)!
“On my birthday, I would love….”
“For our anniversaries, it would be awesome if….”
And if you’re mad about not getting something you didn’t ask for, don’t be mad at your husband because YOU never clearly stated what you wanted.
Just bc they MAY have gotten shit right every now & then without you having to tell them EXACTLY what you want doesn’t make them mind readers - nor does it mean they don’t love you when they don’t meet the expectations you have in your brain (that you kept to yourself)…