Let’s talk about something that has been on my heart + mind a lot lately.
I spent 6+ years as an active Bodi (formerly Beachbody) coach.
To be 100% fair to myself, I did not realize at the time that I was apart of diet culture. I drank the kool-aid. This one WAS the lifestyle solution I had been looking for and I genuinely wanted to share it with everyone I knew.
And I can’t say that my entire experience was wasted. While doing the Portion Fix brought a few positive habits into my life, it also instilled more diet rules and food guilt that I’ve had to unlearn (some I’m still working on).
I also learned so much about myself. I became consistent with movement. It allowed me to create amazing friendships (our group was THE best).
It led me to personal growth & most importantly, it led me here.
I honestly do not know where I would’ve ended up had this opportunity not come into my life, so this is not a regret of my journey as a coach, I actually loved (almost) every minute of it. This is more of me sharing how and why I came to be the type of coach I am today. It is part of my why.
One could say I helped women diet into their ideal body workout program to workout program.
But the more I focused on my personal growth, the more I started to change my message to potential customers as well as within my groups:
“The journey is about more than a number,”
“You can find happiness within yourself at any size”
”Just because you learn to accept or appreciate yourself doesn’t mean you can’t want something different - you can, but make those goals from a place of love, not lack.” - I still stand by ALL of that.
Anywho, I digress…
I cheered customers on as they lost weight and congratulated them as their body shrank.
Together, we did a new program, we did the diet. We got results.
Sometimes we did a program but we just couldn’t stick to the diet…clearly it was us, we were the problem.
We ate “good” all week and binged on the weekend.
We stuffed ourselves at a cheat meal to the point of misery (with a side of guilt).
(Also, I don’t say “we” in an attempt to speak for customers of mine - I’m just using the term in general.)
Diet culture wants you to keep coming back so these cycles of losing weight + gaining weight are gold for them…solid money making biz plan.
Just stick to the diet. Drink the shake. Do it again. It works, I promise.
I mean, how many times can you eat at a calorie deficit & not feel deprived? (This is rhetorical. It only takes once.)
During most rounds (workout paired with diet), my body would become a version of me who only consumed 1200 calories, barely drank & forgoed my favorite foods, unless I found a “healthier alternative that was “fix approved.”
And then you go into maintenance - there are still diet rules, foods you “should avoid” or limit, not to mention the food police are still strong AF in your brain.
So of course you are going to binge/splurge/cheat then blame yourself for having ZERO self control or willpower.
But there is also now a strong fear of eating too much because you may get fat all over again.
Oy. The battle in our minds is strong post diet.
Why does the afformentioned splurge happen? Food restriction from dieting.
Our minds fear another round of restriction so you “gotta eat it all NOW!”
Yes, that is what dieting does to us.
Other factors that can impact overeating:
-Eating in order to block out something we don’t wanna feel (emotional eating).
-Mindless/Habit eating. (ie, you are used to snacking while watching tv).
-Mind + Body Disconnect. This comes from dieting, listening to others instead of our own body, hunger cues & fullness levels.
(Those are all things that are overlooked when it comes to dieting - they don’t address these topics in a way that helps you solve for & overcome them.)
It took me a minute to realize that the body of a person who consumes 1200 calories a day IS NOT the same as the person who lives life and has a healthy relationship with themselves AND food. But it made for great before and after photos…with every single program. Gain a little, lose a little, share the results. Again, solid business plan in ANY diet space.
Those before and after photos were promising women results that may not have even been realistic to them because there are SO MANY factors that go into each of our indivial shapes and sizes.
As someone who has a strong desire to help women to feel empowered in the skin they’re in (& around food), I now see how damaging promising an after body result can be.
At the time, I was doing the best I could with what I knew & now I know better.
Women look at that after pic, typically NOT a body like our own and think we NEED to look like them in order to be good enough.
We need the flat stomach and the thigh gap.
And we need to do whatever it takes to get there - even if it f*cks with our bodies. And minds.
Those pictures promise something that is not a reality for many of us.
Yet we set out to reach these unrealistic goals through unrealistic diets and wonder “what the fuck is wrong with me” when our body doesn’t look like theirs and we can’t stick to the damn food plan. “UGH, if only we had more self control, right?!”
We think if our body can just look like the ones we see plastered all over social media then we’ll be happier and more worthy.
We want someone to hand us the next best thing. The newest fad that is SURE to work.
I tried MANY diets. I searched for it for YEARS.
Until I realized it doesn’t exist and I could no longer stand behind what I used to preach.
Yes, I’d thought I’d found a true lifestyle change. But the more I submersed myself in life and mindset coaching, the more I noticed my relationship with food was messy and it stemmed from a lifetime of diet rules.
It was all an inside job that only I could unlock.
Same for you, mama, you gotta do the inside work.
Another diet, injection or purple tea will not be the answer.
Your problems won’t magically disappear if you drop 4 pant sizes.
Confidence and happiness are an inside job.
Diets don’t work. (Yes, there are studies to prove it. Ask the googles.)
But working on your relationship with food + your body does.
I spent YEARS thinking my body was a problem to be solved. And selling many of you that same message.
I was living to fix my body more than I was living IN my body.
Obsessing over what food was good or bad.
Feeling guilty for what I would eat or for going off plan.
I was fixated on the outside when the only thing that needed love was the version of me who had succumbed to diet culture for the better part of my life.
And I see so many other women doing the same.
Which is why I’ve made it my mission to help women kick 'shitty self-talk' to the curb and say buh-bye to society's standards. Oh and ditch diet drama - duh!
If you’re reading this and you feel this message on a deep level, then it might be time to start questioning what you REALLY want.
If you aren’t ready to say peace out to diet culture just yet, that’s fine, you get to write your own story. I’m not here to judge your choices.
I’m here to share what I know and learned so that I can help women take their power back.
Take what you need. Leave what is not for you.
And remember that I’m always one direct message (for my social media peeps) or contact me away from being your coach.
Disclaimer:
1) I still love the workouts and the trainers, although I don’t use the platform as often these days.
2) This is MY personal experience as a customer and a coach. I use the term WE but I’m not speaking on behalf of my personal customers. It is not my place to tell their stories although I am certain there are people out there who feel this way.
So how do I question if I am stuck in the cycle?
It isn’t just portion controlled container diets that create this cycle in us.
It doesn’t matter which way of eating you follow (ahem…diet), stop and ask yourself if this applies to you:
-Can you eat the way you are eating today for life? If not, it is a diet.
-Can you eat this way for life without splurges, cheat meals or binging on the weekends?
-Is there guilt or shame for what you eat? Do you label food as good or bad? Are there restricted foods other than ones you have set for yourself based on allergies/sensitivities/how the food makes you feel? Then it’s a diet.
-Have you worked through emotional eating or habit/mindless eating?